If One Shows Up

It’s easy to be afraid of middle schoolers.

They can be awkward in conversations. They often have a hard time making eye contact, and they don’t quite fit into their own bodies, which seem to be having a hard time deciding whether they are small children in need of playtime or members of an especially lanky, six-foot-tall race revolting against character lunchboxes and snuggles.

Sometimes this awkwardness extends into the freshman and sophomore years of high school, and if we were honest, some of us still can identify that awkward, eye-contact-averted version of ourselves up through our ripe old age.

I spend quite a bit of time with the developmentally middle-of-the-road populations of preteen, teen, and young adults because I like the middle-ground perspective. I like people who aren’t ready to give up on the art of playing, but who also want to have a deep and meaningful conversation.

If you sit down with them for five minutes, you will quickly learn students today have very real concerns pressing in on them. The world is a difficult place, and sometimes we have the ability to shield our kids from some of the dark stuff of life, but at some point it finds all of us. They are not ignorant to the challenges of life.

For this reason I have one big life rule beyond Jesus, Jesus, and more Jesus…

Life rule:

If one shows up.

In so much of life we judge things by numbers –

How many friends we have on social media

How many Christmas cards we received

How many special occasions we’ve been invited to in the last year

How many people would come to our funeral if it was held tomorrow

Even when we aren’t tallying, I really believe these questions hold space in our subconscious, so we end up judging whether our life is going well based on how many people have showed up for us in any given day, week or year.

It’s time to shift the paradigm:

If one shows up.

We all need friends. We all need family to love us and to be a safe place to land when we are a mess with a capital “M.” And we all need more than one someone, yes. Even the Trinity is three– Abba Father was made for Jesus, Jesus was made for the Father, the Spirit was made for the Father and the Son, the Father and the Son were made for the Spirit. But they are also just one. One.

We can learn something here:

One is enough.

If God is enough as one, just maybe one is enough in other places in life.

Many friends are nice. Lots of people showing up is great. But one is just fine.

I need to put time and energy into the one person who shows up, just as much as I need to put time and energy into 40 kids who show up to learn or five friends who invite me over for dinner. It goes the other way too. I don’t have to expend energy trying to connect and make everything awesome for 20 of my family members, 50 people in my youth group, or 100 people on my Facebook friends list. I need to worry about the one person God has put in front of me and pour really brave love into that heart and soul.

We all need One. One Jesus, One Savior. And we need one.

We need to refuse alone and refuse alone as a reality for someone else.

When I get ready for any event I’ve planned for my youth I tell myself,

If one shows up.

When I invite some friends to grab a coffee, I remind myself,

If one shows up.

And then I love on who He gives me that day. As a bonus, sometimes I get to love on those He gives me for a season, and sometimes I get to love on them for a lifetime.

We need one another. We cannot go this road of life alone, and our middle schoolers, our teens, our elderly, and every single person in between need to know they are not alone — we will refuse alone beside them. We will show up for them.

God will give me who I’m supposed to love brave today. He’ll give me who I will need to love brave tomorrow.

If one shows up - 

I will love brave.

Who is your one to love brave today?

Matt’s reflections:

I love Heidi’s emphasis and invitation to see things the way God sees things. In high school, I was part of a Bible study with my two Young Life leaders, Mark and Vaughn. Many weeks we were doing the study, I would be the only guy that showed up, but I never felt like they were disappointed by our time together. We pored over the Word and God poured into us. Those Spirit-filled moments have affected me, and how I approach relationships today. I want people to always feel welcome no matter how many show up. If one shows up, I’ll love brave, because there were two leaders who did the same for me many years ago.

*This post was part of a six-week online study written by myself and Pastor Matt Schuler. This study should come out in a print version in the next two years. Find more posts like this one by searching “Love Brave” in the search field at the bottom of this page.