Connections: Trust, Attachment, and Growth

Sometimes it’s hard to see the connections. Very often in life concepts seem vague and far away from our own storylines.

This year as we walk through development across the life span, we want to create a space for connections to be made for our own lives. I want the big ideas of psychology and sociology and theology that we discuss here at heidigoehmann.com to be interesting, yes, and to help us grow in knowledge, but I also want them to be personal and to help us grow in spirit and in relationship.

In this month’s episode of Mental Health Monday on the Heidi Goehmann Writes YouTube Channel, we’re talking about how we develop trust, particularly through attachment relationships. God brings many relationships into our lives, but attachment relationships are foundational to our sense of trust because these are the relationships that give us a sense of security and safety wherever we go and whoever we encounter in our lives. Special guest, Dr. Kim Marxhausen, points out that these human relationships, no matter how profound and attentive, will also always be imperfect. God brings grace into our lives by always being available and willing and capable, no matter what the circumstance.

Join us as we discuss the building blocks of attachment when children are very little and how we as adults can be attuned to both our own attachment needs as well as those in our care as parents and teachers and other caring and invested adults. Kim points to the way both attachment is flexible, and how we can be flexible when offering comfort and attentiveness and proximity for strong attachment. There is growth to be had when we look closer at our own experiences, and as we look to bring the kind of strong attachment experiences into the lives of those we love.

First, I invite you to tune into Mental Health Monday: Trust, Attachment, and Growth to learn from Kim and get curious about attachment and trust.

Then, I’d like to offer some questions to consider regarding your own experiences with attachment and trust. As you’ll hear in the video, getting curious is often where growth and also healing begin:

Who were the attachment caregivers in your early life - those who God entrusted to bring you a sense of safety, comfort, and wellbeing?

Who are your attachment relationships in your life currently? Consider 3 or so relationships you have currently that are intended to make you feel safe, to offer someone to cry with you and help you know you are not alone, and with those whom you can be yourself, make mistakes and still find comfort and forgiveness.

What are some details about your attachment style? What words, sensations, or behaviors help you to know that you are safe, secure, and connected?

What kind of proximity do you prefer to know you are truly connected with someone?

What comforts you when you are sad or scared?

In what ways do you need attachment relationships to be attentive for you to build trust and have a sense of security?

In what ways does your relationship with God offer you a sense of trust that people cannot give? In what ways has this sense of trust with God been disrupted? How has it been healed or what does it need for healing?

Catch up on this month’s other resources about trust and attachment:

Up next -

New podcast episode coming August 25th - Ten Minutes of Trust, with regular special guest, Pastor Matt Schuler. Also look for the final episodes in our Always Growing: 20 Marriage Conversations, dropping by the end of August.