The Many Sides of Mental Health: Worth & Humility

When I was a little girl I used to talk in front of a mirror, just to see how my lips moved and my hair swished and my words sounded. If this sounds a bit self-absorbed, you aren’t too far off. But I was a 7-year-old and that’s completely developmentally normal behavior for 7-year-olds who are building a healthy ego state and exploring their inherent value as a card-carrying member of the human race.

If we do not learn from those around us that we have worth as a child, you can imagine how that might affect us as an adult. Without the belief that they are worthy, people end up in relationships which are unhealthy, they have a hard time contributing as citizens and employees because they wonder if their contribution is worthwhile, and they have a harder time caring for their physical health because that also has questionable worth.

Shame creeps into all of our lives, but when we are faced with the question of our worth each and every day, it is exhausting, and it hurts, and the shame can feel overwhelming in a way that you may not understand entirely if you yourself were allowed to talk in front of mirrors and explore your inherent value as a child.

Worth is essential to our mental health and well-being. In case no one has ever told you, or if you simply haven’t been told today:

You are worthy.

You are worthy of love.

You are worthy of care.

You are worthy of dreams and desires.

You are worthy of forgiveness.

You are worthy of time, and energy, and effort.

The flip side of that coin is that little girls who talk in front of mirrors with a hairbrush and share all the words with their pretend audiences who are enraptured with their every turn of phrase also need to be taught that those pretend people who are listening have value. Someone has to help them understand that their siblings may also want a chance at the mirror in order to brush their teeth and get to school on time. Their classmates who don’t talk in mirrors but have plenty to say stored up all inside of them have inherent worth as well. She needs to know her worth isn’t based on skills or audiences.

Our mental health needs us to know our worth, but it also needs us to know our humility.

Can you imagine one without the other? Yikes. You do not want that version of me, nor do you want that version of anyone. Those are scary people. Sometimes I’m a scary person, admittedly. Again, it’s easier to strike the balance with some Jesus in our lives every day. Jesus loves me and calls me worthy at my worst. He loves me and calls me worthy at my best. My worth is dependent solely on the glaringly obvious fact that the God of the universe created me, knit me together, sent me to this planet, and knows my name. It’s better when my worth isn’t dependent on you. It’s better when your worth isn’t dependent on me.

There is a place for understanding, however, that I am also unworthy. I am a mess. I don’t do everything right. I ruin conversations and relationships over and over again. I am not worth more than you. I am not better than you. There is a place for the poverty of self, dialing down my own belief in my awesomeness, so that I can lift yours up, and I can raise Jesus higher.

I need not debase myself. I don’t need to wallow in believing I am wretched. I don’t have to ruminate on my past, my poor choices, or my incompetencies. Grace was with me when I was formed, it is with me as I grow, and with me in both my brightest and my darkest days.

I also don’t need 23.75 hours of self-care per day, in order to give that .25 to those around me. Humility reminds me that taking care of myself is a good thing, but can turn narcissistic, when, rather than recognizing inherent worth in others, I want more for me — more time, more energy, more effort, more … everything.  

It’s a balance, an integrated way of living — worth & humility, humility & worth.

You are worthy & I am worthy & God is most worthy.

Worth & humility. This is one of the many sides of mental health.

Up Next - The Many Side of Mental Health: Acceptance & Constant Work

In the Meantime - Tune in to our current podcast series to hear more on the dualities of mental health. Here’s the second episode in this two part series: