Heidi Goehmann

We had a tree between our house and pond when I was a kid. It was a small-ish tree with wide and reasonably sturdy branches for a skinny adolescent to climb, seeking privacy and a space to grow. It was not so much a climbing tree as a sitting tree. Whenever I wanted and longed for peace, I would visit my tree. Peace is elusive, whether you are seven-years-old or have seen many seven birthdays. Peace is for the not-quite-yet time. My tree, at least was a space of calm.

Peace perhaps alights on us in Spirit when we need it most. We may notice or recognize God’s peace more easily in the exceptional moments of life, particularly in difficulty. Because the world is broken and torn, beautiful but also hurtful and downright scary at times, it is challenging to sense regularly. Peace surpasses understanding, which means it isn’t on us to have it figured out.

We often hear Philippians 4 or similar passages as judgment from God or at least directions from God. I wonder instead how often in the God is simply noticing the challenges of the human experience through the human pen in the Bible. How often is God saying, “I’m here, dear one” where we hear “get it together, (insert name here).” After all, Philippians 4:6-7 starts with “The Lord is near,” not “The Lord is watching.”

Consider the following definitions below, compare and contrast them. These are intended to be holistic definitions, keeping the spirit, mind, and body connected, not a spiritual definition outside of a psychological one, not a psychological or embodied one outside of the spiritual.

Peace

Absence of disturbance, disquiet, and/or hostility, the presence of security, harmony, and cooperation

Calm

Related to evenness, lack of overwhelm, sense of pleasant freedom

In a broken world, the absence of disturbance and the presence of harmony may seem far-fetched. We have been spiritually dull in pretending peace is available to us if only we will it into our beings. This is not intended as a judgment. I want you to instead be able to live in the freedom of knowing there is nothing wrong with you because peace feels far away.

We do work toward peace. It is a good desire and it is good when we expend effort to create, as much as within our control, neighborly peace in our homes, our workplaces, our communities, and our churches. Yet, we do not control everything, dear reader. Life’s turmoil and brokenness make God’s peace feel far off. As humans, we are capable of much destruction. The world, the planet, the universe, the powers of nature and death, are also capable of much destruction.

We need the Holy Spirit. I am at war within myself, constantly seeking to understand who I am, who God is, and my place in this broken world. I think this is the good work of God’s redemption in me, giving me space to work out how God sees me – knit, worthwhile, capable, in need, loving, and loved.

In the end, it is not peace I am seeking most often in this earthly life, but calm.

Calm

Related to evenness, lack of overwhelm, sense of pleasant freedom

According to the Internal Family Systems therapy model, calm is a marker that we are living in our truest selves, the selves God created inside of us and brought into this world, untouched by all the junk and brokenness inside of us and all around us. It’s not the only marker, but it is one that’s helped me root through the difference between the Bible’s concept of peace and the absence of my emotional experience of it.

There is shame in the lens of peace in Western culture. We are choice-oriented, incredibly individualistic, and we understand peace from an either/or perspective. I have peace or I have struggle. I have peace or I have fear. I have peace or I have doubt.

God, the Bible, and spiritual health in general, are much less concerned with either/or and much more open to wrestling with the tensions of life. We live in brokenness, as well as redemption, new growth, and restoration. Our peace will be impacted by what we can’t control, especially when we have less privilege, fewer resources, and less agency to make the choices others may see as available to us. Our peace will also be impacted by the communal concerns and issues all around us – school shootings, sexual abuse, rumors of war, economic constraints, and so on.

Calm is the emotional experience of living in dual awareness: this is hard and I am going to be ok. There are answers to some problems. God has not left us. God is active and available. We want to feel grounded, tethered, unalone, and that we have the capacity to navigate the turbulent waters presenting themselves in life — both the daily steady waves and the swirling, surly overwhelming squalls.

Most days the world is rough, to say the least, relationships are work, everything needs attention. Try this practice for finding calm:

Acknowledge the absence of peace and/or calm

State three things or problems disrupting the peace and calm in and around you

Note any control you have in these three problems

Note at least one thing about each problem you cannot control

Take a deep breath and

Pay attention and imagine a tether between you and God, between each of these problems and God

Imagine the Spirit interceding between you and God, use words if you’d like

Because calm is associated with our sense of self and our souls, it isn’t usually found on the surface. Finding calm is about opening the layers inside of us and letting it arise. You have calm somewhere in there. I have calm somewhere in there. It’s part of us, like all the emotions, and calm maybe even more so in it’s weird, wild, and wonderful connection to our spirits, our true selves.

This is why my childhood tree was a place of calm for me. It gave me the minute I needed to be in the arms of God. In the tree I didn’t have to strive or fix or find solutions, or be anything other than my complicated, layered self.

Take a minute, be wholeheartedly you before God. You are who God wants to spend time with, all of you.

Let the calm rise.

And maybe find yourself a place to sit among the trees.