Courage to Live Smaller

Dave and I have been talking a lot about the value of living a small life – taking care of our family, writing words on a page on my computer, caring for the people entrusted to us on this day, right here.

As you get older, life seems to get a little smaller. I used to always see this as negative, as drudgery, or at the very least as boring. Why would I want the life where going to the store or an appointment is a big event? A life where home is more attractive than away and writing regular letters that each contain bank-fresh $5 bills to 23 grandchildren in 7 different states is plenty for the day’s task?

When I was honest, moving toward this kind of life left me feeling uncomfortable, unmoored, because there seemed to be a universality to giving up, doing less, and setting courage aside for complacency.

But what I have learned from my elders is this:

Courage doesn’t always mean bigger.

Our culture seems obsessed with courage. Courage is good. Courage is of God.

Courage is not the insistent drumbeat calling out, “Do big things! Do big things!”

Courage is stepping out of your comfort zone, stepping into change, stepping into where you’ve been called, and sometimes that’s smaller. 

Courage may mean reinventing your life. It may mean taking that trip or seizing that opportunity. But here’s something we don’t post on memes about courage:

Courage is almost always about relationship rather than the size of the action.

Courage is showing up.

Showing up for what God is calling me to.

Showing up for the people I love and whom I want love from.

Showing up to say the hard thing and sit with the hard stuff rather than running away on the next adventure.

Do you see how that can look small to the world around us? Courage is not a competition. Courage is most often found in relationship – spurring each other on over conversation and coffee to be the best versions of ourselves, choosing time to build community over creating busy activity because people are what we’re here for, leaning in with awkwardness because finding and keeping a friend is one of the hardest things we’ll be challenged to do in this life.

When it comes to courage we tend to ask ourselves the question: What big thing am I doing? 

I think the real way we discern courage in our lives is really by asking the question:

Where am I allowing myself to be seen?

Consider for yourself, where do you feel called to live big or live small? In what way is each of these things courageous? How do these decisions connect to the relationships in your life?

Small or big. Young or old. Showing up is courageous, and relationships will always require our acts of courage.

Listen to the full podcast here:

Up Next: Bids for Connection

In the Meantime: Listen in on the first two podcasts of our series on vulnerability